Update

Stuart sat down with me last night and let me ask the hard questions. Even though he was answering in ways that makes it obvious he's depressed, he didn't want to admit it. I finally asked him the hardest thing I've ever had to, because I knew it'd hurt him to hear the answer.

How'd you feel when you learned Steve was coming home?

It took him about half a minute before he could answer, and he said relieved. I went on to point out that when he went down to see Steve, when they hang out, he's not happy about it. It's more like it's an obligation. I pointed out that when he dropped off the truck it was more about what needed to be done. He barely even mentioned Steve was coming home.

He stayed quiet for a while before he finally said in a low voice, "When I went down there it was like it was just another thing on my plate. More running around I had to do. I didn't really want to be there."

Me: "Stuart, do you think you're depressed?"
Stu: *pause* "Yeah."

We went on to talk about when he was 19. That's the worst time he was depressed. The whole Michelle thing. I asked him if he hurt people then, he said yes, he hurt his family a lot. I said, "If they realized what was wrong and were able to say, 'There's a way you can do this that won't hurt me.' what would you have done?"

Stu: "I don't think I would have listened then."
Me: "You're listening now."
Stu: "Yeah."

It wasn't easy but I think we made progress. He knows he's sick, he knows he's been sick since he was a kid. Now it's just a matter of convincing him he doesn't need to be.