God Is Great, Beer Is Good, And People Are Crazy!

So when Stuart got home tonight I asked him to have a chat because I had some questions. I ask him if he's lied to anyone this past week. He said he has. I asked him if he's lied to me. He says he has about a few things. I nodded and mentioned how he said he'd stay until the end of November so I'm not fucked over. He looked up and said he's not going to fuck me over.

I pointed out Steve thinks they're moving out as soon as they can. Who was he lying to. He stayed quiet for a bit.

Later he told me he's going to leave the hydro and phone in his name and he's going to pay those. That's kind of nice, but it leads to the other promise I'm scared he'll break.

He said he'll help me with my schooling. We'll put it on his credit card each semester and then I'll make payments. But he owes $1600 right now, I need at least a grand available. He has to pay off $600 in two months and won't let me help. I don't see how he's going to do it.

He insists he will. He made me do a pinky swear with him that he'll get me back to school. I told him I've never not trusted him before but right now... and he just held me. He swore he'll make it work. He will get me to school. I still don't really believe him, but I do believe he wants it to work.

He held me and then he told me when he was driving home tonight he hit a bunny. He almost teared up telling me. He had to pull over and check on the bunny, but it died. He needed to talk about it for a bit and wanted a hug. WHO ELSE DOES HE HAVE THAT WILL LISTEN TO HIM FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT??? I think he's come to realize that.

He also told me how he keeps having to defend me around Steve. I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! Steve thinks it's all my fault, just like Stu's parents do. And it's hurting Stuart because he feels (and, no offence, rightly so) that he's the bad guy in the situation. He knows he wouldn't be at the point of even admitting he's sick, let alone wanting help without me. And yet it's like he's scared to admit I may be right about his needing me now too. Ugh.

When he went to bed I was on the couch kind of sniffling, 'cause I'd been crying. He came back out, pulled me up and gave me a huge hug. Now that's the Stuart I know and love... so at least, as he put it, we know he's "not completely dead inside."